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Romeo&Julieta

Romeo&Julieta

Mom

Mom, I know you're not here.

I know you're dead in your mad cage. Your death it's not peacefull,

I don't get to see you shine in the bright sky's stars.

Mom I pray for you everyday, I hold myself together everyday and I resigne to be no more than a child cause reality is painfull to see. Mom, you're in a detriorating body with an ill mind and the worst is: you choose to be that way. I feel alone, mom, sarcastic thing, you see. Once you told me that the moment you knew you were pregnant of me you wouldnt be alone anymore. You got pregnant of that solitude. I carry the emotional sickness of missing your wishes, your wills, your presence. I want to love, mom. I wanted to ask you how to do it and wanted you to hold me and made me feel secure and fearless. But mom, you're dead. I dont even have a grave to cry. How I wish you could meet him, mom. I'm sure you wouldnt even ask your typical questions on whether is he respectfull or loving, you would just look at him, look at me and smile. Mom, when you gave birth to me I became a mother. I remember those hard nights when I went to bed fulfilled cause I acomplished the mission of proving to you that the world was a safe place, a hopefull one. I can still feel all the air invading my chest when you and dad were lost and I had to grab your hand, take you home and put toals on your forehead. One thing is for sure, I certainly gained the abillity to make someone talk, to make them confortable, and I must admit, talking is one of my kinds of making love. I feel secure when I talk, I remember how it made you feel present and reborn, you would clean your thoughts and rebalance yourself. He is great, mom. He makes me sad. Not himself, actually, is you. It's a gap between you and him. He loves me more than you do, mom. He looks beneath my surface and takes me to the right places so I cannot lie to myself. He's gentle with my feelings and he lives his life. He doesnt drink from my time, he nourishes it. He gives me chills. My heart was upside down, he mirrored it and made me see it was fine. That I was fine, that I had a place. Mom, you and him make me sad cause I dont want him to leave. I don't cry for him as I cry for you. For you I cry because I can talk and even if I asked you you would never listen cause you can't. I don't want to burry him, i don't want to look at the sky and look for the bright of his star. I want to live a life, our life, my life. Mom you made me capable of talking but you lacked me on having the courage to iniciate a talk. Mom you made me dream of someone to listen but you didn't teach me to be persistent at communicating myself so people could listen to me. Other time I would think that I was hoping for the wrong person, I would have to grave his body in some methaphorical place and I would keep walking through life searching for a new ear. Mom, now I know it's him, he could be sleeping that I know I have the right to mock him and wake him up and tell him to listen to me, fight my monsters and let the words come out of me. Mom, I know you're not here. I know you're dead in your mad cage. Your death is now peacefull. The night is dark. I can now see the bright at the sky's stars.

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Arquivo

  1. 2018
  2. J
  3. F
  4. M
  5. A
  6. M
  7. J
  8. J
  9. A
  10. S
  11. O
  12. N
  13. D
  14. 2017
  15. J
  16. F
  17. M
  18. A
  19. M
  20. J
  21. J
  22. A
  23. S
  24. O
  25. N
  26. D
  27. 2016
  28. J
  29. F
  30. M
  31. A
  32. M
  33. J
  34. J
  35. A
  36. S
  37. O
  38. N
  39. D
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